'I helped my wife through her cancer battle now she wants to sleep with another man'

TikTok and Reddit combined have been left stunned by one man's revelation about his wife who has asked if she can sleep with another man despite her husband helping her through her cancer battle.

In a post shared on the off my chest subreddit a man shared the trauma that he has gone through while helping his wife through uterine cancer.

In the viral post, he wrote: "My wife and I have been married since 2001 and together since 1999. She is the most intelligent, thoughtful, caring, loyal person I know, and I have always thought of myself as fortunate to have met and married her. She is, even today, aesthetically beautiful and men have told her this throughout our marriage. She has always shot them down.

"Earlier this year, she was diagnosed with uterine cancer, stage 1 and had a full hysterectomy. I was never concerned about the cancer, it was diagnosed early, dealt with quickly and she made a full recovery. I took time off work to look after her after the surgery and all seemed well. There were some to-be-expected emotional instances on her part and although I am not an emotional person, we dealt with them together."

Sign up to our free Indy100 weekly newsletter

After helping her through her recovery, the couple vowed to 'live their life to the fullest' and began taking trips to places such as the UK, Spain, Portugal and Belize. She even began to take up yoga, swimming and healthy cooking classes but things soon turned sour between the pair.

He continues: "Last week she came home from work and told me she wanted a “hall pass”. A one-time opportunity for her to have sex with someone else besides me. She said that since her cancer diagnosis her outlook on life has changed and she doesn’t want to be handcuffed from doing things she wants do.

"She explained that there is this guy at her work that she has always had some attraction to. He is leaving the company and she will never see him again, so this is the perfect opportunity to sleep with someone else. She said that I could say no of course but that she would “be mad/disappointed at me for an indeterminate amount of time and that it would be confirmation of my male toxicity and insecurity.

"I don’t consider myself to be toxic and if not wanting your wife of 20+ years to have sex with someone else is insecure than I guess I am insecure. I told her that I appreciated her talking to me about this but approval via coercion is not approval. I also said that I do not appreciate her language in describing my, as of yet, unknown reaction to this very large issue that could affect the rest of our marriage/life."

His wife eventually apologised for making him make the decision and instead decided for herself that she was going to go through with it and booked out a hotel room where her co-workers were having a sending-off party for the other man in the equation. She told her husband that she hoped he would still be there when she returned and that she would be willing to answer any question he had about the night.

He concluded: "Part of me thinks, at least she has been honest with me and she has been through a lot since finding out she had cancer so maybe I should just let it happen. I certainly have no concept of what she went through so I cannot dismiss how this affected her mental state/outlook on life. Part of me wants to put my foot down and say this is not going to happen and deal with those consequences when they happen. Her BFF called me callous for even suggesting that I wouldn’t let it happen, because I have no idea what she went through. I find it hard to believe that she is OK with the possibility of throwing away 20+ years of marriage over some guy that she has had no relationship with outside of work and that I should just call her bluff. Maybe she thinks similarly that I won’t throw away the marriage because of one encounter. I just don’t know what to do. I empathize with her and then an instant later I am angry with her.

"Part of me wants to know who this guy is? What does he look like, what has he got that is so enthralling for her. Is he just a safe option? Is he married? Does his wife know? Would I be a callous asshole for saying No? What can I do besides walking away?"

As you can imagine, the man's predicament has stirred quite a debate with many people feeling a great deal of sympathy for the man and offering their own advice.

One Reddit user wrote: "You're not callous or insecure - changes to the marriage requires two yesses, and if there's one no, either that item doesn't happen or you get divorced. Unfortunately, your wife has decided that she wants to be single and is doing this so you will leave but she won't take the blame of being the one choosing to end the marriage because she gave you a heads up first. That's why her friends are on her side about it."

A second added: "This will only be the first of many. Leave now. She clearly doesn’t want to be in a relationship; she basically told you I don’t care what you say or think I’m having sex with this man. Your marriage as you knew it is over. Time to move on."

A third said: "My dad was diagnosed with Cancer last year. Instead of wanting a hall pass from my mom, his wife of 30 years, he wanted to spend time with family more. Just because she got a diagnosis doesn’t excuse this. If she is asking for a “hall pass”, I would “expelled” her and move on from my life. She is gaslighting you by saying she is “disappointed”. If she is speaking this into fruition, she WILL do it. She gave you a heads up. I’m sorry."

Have your say in our news democracy. Click the upvote icon at the top of the page to help raise this article through the indy100 rankings.