There are growing calls to nationalise Greggs

Any frequent user of r/UnitedKingdom will have noticed that a debate has eclipsed all else recently, which interrogates what it means to be a citizen of the United Kingdom in the 21st Century.

I speak, of course, of Greggxit.

Two posts have flown to the top of the subreddit, one titled "Should we burn down all Greggs?", the other "Should we nationalise Greggs?".

Time for the court of indy100 to decide this matter, which means one of these outcomes is 100 per cent certain:

Opening statements please.

Pro Greggs nationalisation: User 'CMCyantist'

I'm about to sit down and eat my sausage roll and a steak bake, I've got a cookie to polish off with and a bottle of Irn Bru and it's dawning on me that Greggs really should be nationalized. There's a natural monopoly - Bakers Oven was s---. Cooplands is s--- and Pound bakery is good for the price, but it's no Greggs. Greggs registered a 41 per cent jump in profit in 2014, before tax that's £58.3 million, and the year before was £41.3 million. That's profit we could be redistributing to build new schools.

Patriotism. It's a good British company. It's still rooted in Tyneside, as far as I know they don't do any taxation shenanigans. A government involvement would result in great distribution of Greggs shops, instead of five in the Leeds high street, we could get a few more down south and further increase profits.

Pro Greggs incineration: User 'roamingandy'

Anyone who has ever eaten a real pie will know that Gregg's pies are a bit like sucking on moist toilet paper wrapped around a dog toy - and yet because they are a large franchise they operate with an unfair advantage to a local pie shop which will pull freshly made pies out of their golden oven so tasty that they we're probably what the Vikings were over here pillaging for.

No this has to stop. Pie and Mash, Sausage and Mash, without protecting these institutions we are a nation that deserves a Boris in Number 10.

Other evidence:

As the New Statesman noted, citing Greggs' store map, there are around 1,650 Greggs shopfronts in Britain - but only one in Northern Ireland.

They often have many branches in close proximity, and sometimes have "secondhand Greggs" locations, a term coined by indy100 reporter Bethan McKernan to describe "outlets" which sell day-old pasties for a reduced price.

Scotland has had experience with Greggs politics in the past, as First Minister Nicola Sturgeon waded into the debate about plans for the baker to stop selling the macaroni pie.

Sturgeon said that her father was a fan of the delicacy, sold alongside other Scottish exclusives such as the lasagne pie:

He expected me to join the campaign to save the macaroni pie.

I've always been an obedient and loyal daughter and this occasion is no different.

Other evidence includes individual statements over the taste and quality of the goods on offer, some of whom offer the highest praise, others, well:

The suggestion in 2012 by chancellor George Osborne that all "hot takeaway food" should be subjected to the 20 per cent rate of VAT was also met with outrage:

Baked goods, as this Sun front page shows, are clearly dear to the nation's heart.

Greggs should also receive a Nobel Peace Prize by ANY OBJECTIVE MEASURE for their diplomatic efforts:

Dear reader, you are now informed and ready to vote in our poll for the ages.

Vote in good conscience and spirit - this is a decision for a generation.

Vote in our poll, below:

indy100 plans for a parliamentary petition on a referendum on Greggs the baker are pending poll results.

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