A woman has found herself in an uncomfortable position after finding out her friend and sperm donor declined to tell his wife that he was donating.
The woman spoke about her predicament in a post on Reddit’s Am I The A**hole community and revealed that she is now pregnant with twins.
In the post, the anonymous 30-year-old woman explained that she is asexual and never believed she would become a mother due to her sexuality.
She made the decision to undergo IVF and have a baby by herself since she was in a “stable” position to do be able to raise a child.
Her high school friend, a 31-year-old male, offered to be a sperm donor under the agreement that he would not play a parental role in the potential child’s life.
The treatment was successful and the woman revealed she is 33 weeks pregnant with twin girls.
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To thank her friend, the woman said she took him and his wife out for dinner. But, when the man’s wife found out what the meal was for, it became clear she had not been informed that her husband had donated his sperm.
The woman explained: “His wife was confused when I explained the reason for the dinner and then angry demanding to know why we kept this from her.
“I was just as shocked and asked my friend if he hadn't told his wife. He tried to explain to both of us he hadn't thought it'd matter as he has no rights to them at all.
“His wife got even angrier at that part stating she isn't comfortable with their son (6M) having siblings that aren't really his siblings and she wants that part changed so that her husband has a legal say over the girls.”
The woman said a huge argument between the three of them ensued, and she was in shock at the situation, having assumed the man had run it by his wife before offering.
Readers in the comments had the same thoughts and shared their views on who was the AH [a**hole].
One person wrote: “Oh my god, so NTA [not the a**hole]. The fact that he has a son with his wife makes it even more confusing to me why he wouldn’t have run this by her or at least let her know he planned to do it.
“You did the right thing by thanking them as a unit, since married couples should be operating as a unit.”
Someone else agreed, writing: “NTA. Your friend is the major a**hole here. I understand the wife being upset about this, her husband definitely should’ve talked this over with her before offering to be a donor.”
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