A woman was left perplexed after her sister-in-law demanded that she change her surname because it was now her family name.
In an anonymous post on Reddit’s Am I The A**hole community, the woman explained that when she get married to her husband four years ago, she decided to keep her own surname.
But, now her brother’s wife who is pregnant is demanding that the woman change her surname to her husband’s to “show some respect” and because it’s about to become her family’s name and claimed it would be “weird” if the baby had the same surname as its aunt.
In the post, the woman explained: “I got married 4 years ago and I chose to keep my last name. My older brother has been married a few years longer than me - we aren't super close but I see them all the time at family events.
“My sister-in-law and I have always gotten along fine and we have never had any sort of issues at all. She is currently pregnant and invited me out to lunch last weekend, which was weird and out of the blue, but I thought maybe since she is pregnant she wants us to be closer for the baby.
“Everything was fine, we were making small talk about the baby and how they were preparing.”
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What happened next shocked the woman to her core, as her sister-in-law had clearly had an agenda for the lunch date.
The post continued: “Then she dropped the bomb on me the reason she asked me to lunch was that she wants me to change my last name to my husband's. She told me since now she is pregnant the last name will now be her family name and she would feel uncomfortable with me having it too.
“I told her this has been my last name my entire life and I have no plans to change it. I also told her that if I were a man then it would be my family name too, so what is the difference? She told me it would be different if I were a man and I need to grow up show some respect for my husband and change it. I just again told her no.”
Her sister-in-law didn’t stop there and texted the woman a few days later to see if she had thought about it some more. When she continued to refuse, the sister-in-law suggested she was being “immature and disrespectful”.
The woman wrote: “She texted me yesterday asking if I had thought about it. I just replied that I would not be changing my last name and I was sorry if that made her uncomfortable.
“She sent me back a ton of texts pretty much just telling me I'm immature and disrespectful, I need to grow up and I am not only disrespecting my marriage but also hers and my brothers.
“I haven't responded and I don't plan to but I feel bad. I don't want to cause problems but I've had my last name my entire life. It's part of my identity and I don't want to change it. My husband thinks the entire thing is comical but I couldn't sleep last night thinking about it.”
In the comments, other Reddit users backed the woman up arguing that her sister-in-law doesn’t now “own” that family name and suggesting she stick to her guns.
One person wrote: “This is so sexist. Your SIL doesn’t own the name, and it’s not less your name because you’re a woman.”
Another said: “That's a ridiculous ask. I've never heard of someone doing this.”
Someone else commented: “I would have laughed and then been like oh you’re serious then laughed some more. Your name is ZERO of her business and I’d tell her exactly that repeatedly.
“I’d also go out and get a bunch of stuff with my last name and initials on it to take with me to all family functions where she’d be just to up the petty anty. Whatever you do, do not bow to this absurd and overstepping request.”
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