Brother accused of ruining sister’s wedding after refusing to babysit nephew

A man is embroiled in a family row after leaving his sister’s wedding as he felt she was using him for “free childcare”.

The 31-year-old explained that when he turned up to the wedding, his 29-year-old sister gave him a “list of times” the one-year-old who “loves to cry” would need to be away from the party - including much of the ceremony and the entirety of the reception.

He was upset, and slipped out of the wedding while the grandmother was holding the baby. Since then, his family have been furious with him for ducking out and have demanded he apologise.

Posting to the Am I The A**hole subreddit, the man sought opinions over whether or not he was right to leave.

He explained that he was out of town, so missed the get-together the night before the wedding, but he showed up for the ceremony and the reception.

The baby cries “all the time”, but usually stops if someone takes him outside for fresh air. When he arrived at the ceremony, his sister asked him to take the baby outside to calm him down.

He did, and then was asked again another while later.

His sister said they didn’t have a babysitter because they “spent all the money on the ceremony and parties”.

He felt annoyed because he wanted to enjoy the ceremony, but everyone told him to do her the favour of minding the child because “it was her day”.

The Redditor asked his sister how often she expected him to take the baby outside, resulting in her giving him a “huge list of times” he would have to leave with the child, meaning he would miss the important parts of the day including the exchanging of vows, the aisle walk, the readings, the kiss, and the reception.

With all this in mind, he estimated he would only have about 30 minutes sitting inside, and the rest “was just about the baby”. He pointed this out to his sister, but she told him someone would “videotape it” for him.

He asked if someone else could watch the baby because as her brother, he wanted to witness her tying the knot. But she told him to “just do it”.

He said: “I was really mad, but tried not to show it on the outside. When I asked about the reception, she told me, ‘Oh, you'll have to miss out. [Baby's name] needs to be outside and has to be fed.’

“That was the final straw, and when my mother was holding the baby I slipped out and just left.

“The next day I get a call from my sister, and she's screaming about how I ruined her wedding and how the baby wouldn't stop crying.

“I told her that I left because she treated me like a babysitter instead of a guest/family member, and said that it was her fault if she couldn't get a nanny or ask a friend to do it.

“Since then I've been nuked with calls from family calling me selfish and telling me that I'm effectively disowned unless I apologise. I see no reason to.”

He concluded the post by asking for outsider opinions on whether or not he dealt with the situation appropriately.

The top comment, with 16,800 upvotes, asked why she couldn’t “rotate baby duty between family members”. By not doing so, his sister implied she was “the least important person” at the wedding, they said.

They added: “Plus how expensive would it have been to hire a babysitter? Or your parents could have chipped in and gotten one.”

Another echoed the previous comment, writing: “I find it funny that they’re calling you selfish when it doesn’t seem like any one of them volunteered to take turns so it would be fair and you at least got to witness some parts of the wedding.”

Other commenters were surprised the bride didn’t ask him if he could babysit before the big day.

One commenter remarked: “She could’ve told you beforehand that you were babysitting but she tried to do it stealthy and taking your cue from her; you stealthy left.”

What would you do in this situation?

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