Man hires a naked cleaner as a 'treat' – but it all goes pearshaped

We all have our own coping mechanisms when it comes to heartbreak – whether that be sobbing into a friend’s shoulder, drowning our sorrows at the pub, or consuming ungodly amounts of chocolate.

But one man sought a very different form of solace when his marriage ended and, let’s just say, it all went a bit t*ts up.

The man opened up about his misguided attempt to console himself in a post shared to the popular ‘Fesshole’ X/Twitter account, where people share their most personal – and mortifying – secrets.

In the anonymous confession, he explained that he’d hired a unique form of stripper to keep him entertained at home but, in the end, it wasn’t the “treat” he’d imagined it would be.

He wrote: “Having split from my wife I hired a naked cleaner as a treat to myself.

“But I find it so awkward sitting in my house, while a young naked woman dusts that I've started going out when I know she's coming.

“So I'm parked up somewhere hiding while a naked woman cleans my empty house.”

The admission racked up more than 980,000 views and 7,900 likes in just three days as streams of commentators offered less-than-complimentary assessments of the situation.

“Every sentence was exponentially more pathetic than the one before, well done, quite an achievement,” wrote one critic.

“If watching someone clean in the nude is your idea of a treat, I can see why your wife dropped you,” added another.

"Perhaps if you had a little more respect for women you'd still have a wife,” suggested a third.

“You seem to be handling your divorce great, mate,” jibed a fourth.

“Bro just get a regular cleaner or tell her to start wearing clothes. It would probably be a highlight in her day considering only creepy men hire her,” said a fifth.

Meanwhile, others wanted to know how he’d found his… unique cleaning service.

“Wondered if this was an actual thing. Since I'm WFH on my own laptop today, just had a quick Google,” one admitted.

“There's a company that does this.”

Then, throwing some conspiracy theory into the mix, they suggested that the anonymous confessor didn’t hire a naked cleaner but owns the naked cleaning company, and “want[ed] the free advertising.”

All we can say is, we’ll stick to hoovering our own carpets, fully clothed, thanks.

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