Sometimes, there are no words.
Back in February, a rather jaw-dropping post appeared on Reddit’s r/sex thread.
The poster said that her marriage had hit a rocky patch, and she’d asked her husband what she could do to spice things up a bit.
His response was unconventional:
Recently, he asked me to stick different things in my vagina, like apples, pears, carrots, etc.. and keep in there all they so that he could eat them at night when he came home from work.
Why did she make this public? Well, she was worried about the adverse effects on her health that carrying fruit and veg around with her could have, and was asking for advice. She had taken some precautions already:
The fruits we buy are organic, and I spend a good deal of time cleaning them thoroughly.
Recently the post was featured on Cosmopolitan.
That brought it to the attention of actual real life gynaecologist Dr Jen Gunter, who used her medical expertise to answer the question.
So does she think it’s a good idea?
In a post bluntly titled It’s probably best if you don’t insert fruit and vegetables in your vagina, she concisely explains why it’s not a good idea.
We’ll save you the intimate details but the main potential risks she outlines are:
Inoculating the vagina with bacteria and fungi from the fruits/vegetables.
Abrasions from insertion.
Changing the vaginal ecosystem.
Irritant reactions.
And in particular, she points the dangers of bacteria growing:
This isn’t the same as an unwashed hand, this is leaving something in a dark, warm place with bacteria for hours or longer. Who knows if the yeast often normally present could get vaginal fruit to ferment. Bacterial growth would be a bigger concern if any small pieces break off and are left behind for days or weeks (it is not unrealistic to think some of the organic matter will soften and could break off).
Take her advice, she's a professional.
Oh, and we're sorry if we put you off your lunch.
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