A global condom shortage is looming because of course it is

People being trapped inside their houses with nothing to do all day can only mean one thing: thirsty, horny behaviour.

But in news that will strike fear into the hearts of responsible shaggers everywhere, the world’s biggest condom producer has warned that global shortage of condoms is looming.

Yes, we can now add a global condom shortage to the list of ridiculous potential ramifications of the coronavirus pandemic.

Malaysia’s Karex Bhd makes one in every five condoms globally, and coronavirus lockdown has forced it to shut down its condom factories.

Reutersreports that it has not produced a single condom in its three Malaysian factories for more than a week because of measures to slow the spread of the virus.

To put into context, that is a shortfall of 100m condoms (presumably impacting 100m shags). These condoms are normally marketed internationally by brands such as Durex, supplied to state healthcare systems such as Britain’s NHS or distributed by aid programmes such as the UN Population Fund.

Thankfully the company was greenlit to restart production this week, but with only half of its workforce.

Its chief executive Goh Miah Kiat told Reuters:

It will take time to jumpstart factories and we will struggle to keep up with demand at half capacity.

We are going to see a global shortage of condoms everywhere, which is going to be scary. 

My concern is that for a lot of humanitarian programmes … in Africa, the shortage will not just be two weeks or a month. That shortage can run into months.

It’s not just Malaysia’s lockdown that’s hitting the condom industry hard. The other major condom-producing country is China, where the coronavirus originated. Thailand is also a big producer and cases there are rising.

Given that at this uncertain time people might be wanting to have a lot of sex, but also probably won’t be able to plan ahead enough to have kids, condoms are likely in high demand.

But please, safe shaggers of the world, don’t go out and panic-buy them – for now there’s still plenty to go (and wrap) around.