12 Christmas jokes that are better than cracker ones

Christmas is nigh.

In the spirit of present-giving and cracker-yanking, here are 12 jokes that are definitely better than the ones you'll find in a cracker.

Probably.

1.

Who delivers presents to cats?

Santa Paws

2.

What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck?

A Christmas Quacker

3.

What says Oh Oh Oh?

Santa walking backwards

4.

What is the worst side effect of Christmas?

Excemas.

5.

What do you call a blind dinosaur?

A doyouthinkhesaurus.

6.

There will be no Christmas anymore. I told Santa that you have been good the whole year.

He died of laughter.

7.

An honest politician, a hard-working civil servant and Santa Claus find a £50 note.

Who gets to keep it?

Santa does, the other two are creatures of myth and legend.

8.

A dog is gazing up at the Christmas tree and sighs with satisfaction.

He thinks to himself:

Oh, my master is the best, as always. What dog can say they’ve had electrical lights installed in their indoor toilet?

9.

What do you have in December that you don't have in any other month?

The letter 'D'

10.

What did the reindeer say before beginning his comedy routine?

This will sleigh you

11.

What carol is heard in the dessert?

'O Camel ye faithful.'

12.

What's red, white and blue at Christmas time?

Theresa May’s Brexit plan

We lied.

They're just as bad as cracker jokes.

HT WhyChristmas, short-funny, dumb

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