What is Demisexuality and celibacy as Tulisa opens up on I'm a Celeb?

Tulisa Contostavlos revealed she has been celibate for three years and identifies as demisexual during a candid chat on I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here!.

During Tuesday’s episode (19 November) the N-Dubz singer, 36, shared details about her personal life during a break between trials in camp.

The former X Factor judge said that she has largely avoided using dating apps, apart from a brief attempt at using Raya, a private members’ app for celebrities and high-profile figures.

“Even though I’ve been on there, I’ve never gone on an actual date with anyone on there,” she shared. “I’m proper guarded.”

She added: “I feel like I’m demisexual, I need to have a really close emotional bond with someone … I need actual depth. I’m a slow, slow burner. I’ve been celibate for over three years.”

What is demisexuality?

Demisexuality is a sexual orientation in which a person feels sexually attracted to someone only after a close emotional bond has been established with them.

Someone who identifies as demisexual may also identify as gay, straight, bisexual, demiromantic, sapiosexual, gray asexual, or pansexual, WebMD reports.

Most people in the general population may feel a sexual attraction to someone regardless of whether they have established an emotional connection first, Cleveland Clinic reports. Those who are demisexual do not feel this initial sexual attraction to strangers or new people they meet.

Establishing an emotional bond also doesn’t guarantee a sexual attraction will develop, however the bond is necessary for a demisexual to even consider sexual activity. The length of time needed to feel an emotional bond varies; some demisexuals may form a close emotional bond quickly, however it may take several years for others.

What is celibacy?

During the candid chat, Tulisa’s fellow campmate, radio DJ Dean McCullough, asked what it has meant for her to be celibate.

“I’m not an overly sexualised person,” she said.

“For me, it’s all about the connection and the emotions that I feel with someone and then wanting to express them in that way.”

Celibacy is a voluntary choice to abstain from sexual activity. It can be practised for a certain period of time, or someone may choose to be celibate permanently.

Different people will have their own definitions of what it means to be celibate. For some it may involve abstaining from all kinds of sexual contact even if they are not religious, including kissing or holding hands.

And some people practising celibacy may only refrain from sexual intercourse. Others may masturbate instead of having sex with a partner or partners, but some might choose not to.

Celibacy and abstinence are sometimes used interchangeably, however the latter is typically for a set period of time, such as until marriage, and refers to penetrative sex.

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