The Conversation (0)
Catherine Shuttleworth
Aug 27, 2023
What is the ‘boy moms’ TikTok trend and why is it controversial?
TikTok
Certain mothers of sons - who are being labelled “boy moms” on TikTok - are being called out online after explaining why they're teaching their sons to cook.
The trend started after TikTok user Laura Elizabeth Graham posted a video of herself and her young son in the kitchen cooking, with the text overlaying reading: “Making sure my son can cook so he’s not impressed by your daughter’s [Stouffer’s] lasagna.”
@lauraelizabethgraham He’s gonna need a home cooked meal Felicia 😬 #boymom #boymomlife #boymomsoftiktok #mamasboy #mommasboy #mamasboys #relatablemom #motherinlaw #motherinlawproblems #momsoftiktok IB: @brontevictoria.capowski
In the caption Graham wrote that her son would need a “home-cooked meal” from his future wife.
Her TikTok sparked a wave of “boy moms” uploading similar content. Another mother posted a similar video sharing that she was teaching her son to cook so “he’s not impressed by your frozen pizza daughter”.
@chezchanelle This is a joke folks cause I’m a home chef but I also love me a delissio okurrrr #chefhumour #boymom #relatablemom #momhumour #itsajokechill #itsajoke #delissio
Other videos had captions such as “teaching my son how to cook so he’s not impressed with your dusty daughter’s takeout skills”.
@sivanaylarichards Raising a 10 #toddlersoftiktok #momsoftiktok #cooking #mamasboy
However, many other mothers of sons hit back at the trend, calling it “toxic” and highlighting the mothers' “red flags”.
One mother posted a video of her son preparing food, saying “teaching my son how to cook in case he ever needs to… feed himself. I’m not putting that dusty MIL energy out there.”
@craygardens Dont put that #boymama energy on me. Im not trying to be cut off one day. #boymom #dustysons #dustydaughters #raisingkids #parentinghacks #mil #toxicmil
“Taught my 12 year old son how to cook so you daughter doesn’t have to deal with a man who thinks cooking is a [woman’s] job,” wrote another user.
@salina_sunshine Its a life skill. IB: @Payal Desai #mencook #boyscook #cooking #cooktok #foodtok #momsoftiktok #lifeskills #fyp #viral
Many said that parents should be teaching their sons to cook because “it’s a basic necessity” rather than to put down another woman and reinforce the idea that women should play more of a domestic role in relationships.
Psychologist and mother Amber Wardell shared her views on trend: “I’m teaching my son to cook so that he will show up for his future wife as though she’s his partner and not his servant.”
@sensible_amber This is how we create snobby, entitled men who treat their wives like the help and constantly compare them to mommy dearest. Let’s teach our boys to be self-sufficient, nurturing, compassionate, and supportive. Let’s teach them that their wives do not exist to be their mommies. Most importantly, let’s teach our sons that it is HEALTHY and NORMAL for them to one day leave us and become more attached to their wives than they are to us, and that this is what we WANT for them. Otherwise, we’ll all end up with our boys living with us forever — not because they love us but because no women will have them. They’ll be divorced, lonely and miserable, and we’ll still be cooking their meals. Is this really what we want for our sons? #motherhood #momlife #motherhoodunplugged #motherhoodunited #parenting #boymom #biymomculture #toxicboymomculture
The trend seems to continue to divide users over parents intentions when it comes to raising their children with certain skills and values.
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