Liam O'Dell
Jul 09, 2022
PA
We rarely get a break from UK politics, and so it wasn’t long after Boris Johnson stepped out onto Downing Street on Thursday and announced his resignation that talk turned to who would replace him.
After Partygate, a no-confidence vote and then concerns over his handling of sexual assault allegations within the Conservative Party, the mounting calls for him to go were finally listened to.
Addressing the public and reporters, Mr Johnson said: “It is clearly now the will of the parliamentary Conservative Party that there should be a new leader of that party and therefore a new prime minister.
“I’ve agreed with Sir Graham Brady, the chairman of our backbench MPs, that the process of choosing that new leader should begin now and the timetable will be announced next week.”
Now all those waiting for the inevitable leadership contest are firing up their campaigns, because when have Conservatives ever been shockingly opportunistic?
Fortunately, they’re already being roasted, so here’s a round-up of everyone who’s standing so far, the ridiculous rumours, and the memes which are already surfacing from their leadership bids.
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Rishi Sunak
Rather unsurprisingly, the former chancellor who resigned from the position earlier this week is considering taking the top job. According to reports, the URL ‘ReadyForRishi.com’ – which redirects to the official ‘Ready4Rishi.com’ - was registered back in December.
Mr Sunak announced he was running for party leader in a campaign video shared to social media on Friday, accompanied by a pledge to “restore trust, rebuild the economy and reunite the country”.
Improving the economy sounds good to us, Rishi! The last guy did a terrible job of getting us through the cost of living crisis, so hopefully you’ll be better.
Wait…
In the almost three-minute clip, Mr Sunak said: “Someone has to grip this moment and make the right decisions – that’s why I’m standing to be the next leader of the Conservative Party and your prime minister.”
Twitter wasn’t convinced:
\u201c@RishiSunak Just came up with this video in the last couple of days did you\u201d— Ready For Rishi (@Ready For Rishi) 1657293400
\u201c@RishiSunak\u201d— Ready For Rishi (@Ready For Rishi) 1657293400
\u201c@RishiSunak\u201d— Ready For Rishi (@Ready For Rishi) 1657293400
\u201c@RishiSunak\u201d— Ready For Rishi (@Ready For Rishi) 1657293400
\u201c@RishiSunak "Restore trust"\u201d— Ready For Rishi (@Ready For Rishi) 1657293400
He already has some great support from Tory MPs, including Paul Maynard, who tweeted: “If you’re happy, can you tweet and include the hashtag Ready4Rishi, and crucially the website Ready4Rishi.com, and then your infographic below.”
That really is quite the statement…
Kemi Badenoch
UK Parliament
The former equalities minister - who also resigned this week – announced she would be standing for election on Saturday, writing in The Times that the country needs “strong but limited government focused on the essentials”.
The Saffron Waldon MP continued: “Our country is falsely criticised as oppressive to minorities and immoral, because it enforces its own borders. We cannot maintain a cohesive nation state with the zero-sum identity politics we see today.
“Exemplified by coercive control, the imposition of views, the shutting down of debate, the end of due process, identity politics is not about tolerance or individual rights but the very opposite of our crucial and enduring British values.
“I’m putting myself forward in this leadership election because I want to tell the truth. It’s the truth that will set us free.”
This, from an ex-minister who once said the UK is “one of the best countries in the world to be a Black person” and that the government “has a record to be proud of” when it comes to racial equality.
Right…
Understandably, people have been critical of her campaign:
\u201cThe biggest cost of living crisis in a generation and this candidate for Prime Minister thinks the answers is \u201climited government for the essentials.\u201d Is being able to heat our homes this winter \u2018essential\u2019? Asking for disabled people.\u201d— Frances Ryan (@Frances Ryan) 1657358391
\u201c\u201cMeanwhile our country is falsely criticised as oppressive to minorities\u2026\u201d \n\nWhoever tied your destiny to a tree in your father\u2019s village, I pray they release you soon.\u201d— Kelechi (@Kelechi) 1657357574
\u201cThis article is intellectually bankrupt in many ways - for one, calling for *more* deregulation while unregulated rents and unregulated energy prices run riot - and most of all because it frames her party as merely centre-right.\u201d— Musa Okwonga (@Musa Okwonga) 1657356300
\u201cThe biggest \u2018truth\u2019 to tell is Tory leadership candidates are silent about nation facing a cost of living crisis with millions terrified of what kind of energy bills they will get, and instead offering brexit red tape and more culture wars to feed their kids with.. #OutOfTouch\u201d— stellacreasy (@stellacreasy) 1657354386
Suella Braverman
UK Parliament
The current attorney general told ITV’s political editor Robert Peston on Wednesday it would be “the greatest honour” to serve as prime minister, stating the priority for a new government is to “deliver some proper tax cuts”.
She added: “We need to shrink the size of the state, and cut government spending, so we can curb inflation. We need to solve the problems of boats across the channel.
“We need to stop a foreign court interfering in our domestic affairs, we need to make sure that Brexit opportunities are felt for everybody in this country, and lastly, we need to get rid of all this woke rubbish.
“[We need to] actually get back to a country where describing a man and a woman in terms of biology does not mean that you’re going to lose your job.”
\u201cIf Suella Braverman became pm my sketches would be so rich you\u2019d only be able to watch them in a fking imax.\u201d— Michael Spicer (@Michael Spicer) 1657294902
\u201c\u201cWe need to get rid of all of this woke rubbish\u201d\n Suella Braverman\n\nThat is literally all she has got, there are no other important issues swimming around inside her empty mind\n\nThe modern Conservative party is like a Poundshop version of its former self\u201d— Louis \ud83c\uddec\ud83c\udde7 \ud83c\uddea\ud83c\uddfa \u3013\u3013 \ud83d\udc99 Defend the right to vote (@Louis \ud83c\uddec\ud83c\udde7 \ud83c\uddea\ud83c\uddfa \u3013\u3013 \ud83d\udc99 Defend the right to vote) 1657229685
\u201cPart of me thinks Suella Braverman will win because it is objectively the funniest option\u201d— Frankie Boyle (@Frankie Boyle) 1657351612
Nadine Dorries
UK Parliament
We promise we’re not joking. According to reports, the existing culture secretary and unwavering supporter of Mr Johnson is considering becoming the next prime minister.
And so, Twitter has erupted into laughter:
\u201cEveryone stop what you're doing and join the Tory Party so we can vote for Nadine Dorries in the upcoming leadership contest. This is how we save the country \ud83d\ude18\u201d— Laura Kuenssberg Translator (@Laura Kuenssberg Translator) 1657304638
\u201cPlease let Nadine Dorries run for leadership of the Conservative party. Please.\u201d— Nick Tyrone (@Nick Tyrone) 1657297526
\u201cTory leadership latest: Nadine Dorries throws her ring in the hat.\u201d— Rob B (@Rob B) 1657301112
Go Nads!
Tom Tugendhat
UK Parliament
The Tonbridge and Malling MP was the first to openly consider running for the top job back in January, when he told Times Radio it would be a “huge privilege” to be prime minister.
He said at the time: “It’s one of those questions that I know many people ask and some of my colleagues are coy about, and I don’t understand why. I don’t think you should be embarrassed to want to serve your country.”
Now, in a tweet published on Friday, he wrote that it’s “time for renewal”.
“This nation needs a clean start and a government that will make trust, service and an unrelenting focus on the cost of living crisis its guiding principles,” he added.
Except talk of a “clean start” didn’t really wash with Twitter users who have pointed out that replacing a Tory with another Tory may not be the reset people are after:
\u201c@TomTugendhat Mate, your mob have been in power for TWELVE YEARS. Lost count of the clean starts we\u2019ve had in that time.\u201d— Tom Tugendhat (@Tom Tugendhat) 1657260005
\u201c@TomTugendhat Hi Tom, I\u2019ve checked with the members. You\u2019re not going to win.\u201d— Tom Tugendhat (@Tom Tugendhat) 1657260005
\u201c@TomTugendhat Brilliant....when's the general election?\u201d— Tom Tugendhat (@Tom Tugendhat) 1657260005
\u201c@TomTugendhat You\u2019ve been in power for 12 years - a clean start would not be a vote for Conservatives\u201d— Tom Tugendhat (@Tom Tugendhat) 1657260005
Liz Truss
UK Parliament
Yes, Ms Pork Markets herself wants to upgrade from foreign secretary to prime minister after Boris Johnson.
Even going so far as to emulate the appearance of controversial former PM Margaret Thatcher, the women and equalities minister has certainly been dropping hints here and there.
Social media users find the prospect of her becoming our head of state hilarious, however:
\u201cLiz Truss positioning herself as \u201cthe female Boris Johnson\u201d in the Tory leadership race and to be fair she\u2019s got the incompetence to do it\u201d— dave \u2744\ufe0f \ud83e\udd55 \ud83e\uddfb (@dave \u2744\ufe0f \ud83e\udd55 \ud83e\uddfb) 1657259178
\u201cPlease sweet baby Jesus of Nazareth let Liz Truss become PM. It's gonny be fucking hilarious.\u201d— Joe Fae Glesga (@Joe Fae Glesga) 1657232947
\u201cI'm backing Liz Truss because PM stands for Pork Markets.\u201d— Dubzky (@Dubzky) 1657317526
What’s more embarrassing is that a potential campaign slogan for Ms Truss – ‘In Liz We Trust’ – has already been pinched as a website by someone else, with the link redirecting to a rather unfortunate video instead.
Jeremy Hunt
Despite being runner-up in the 2019 leadership election to replace Theresa May, the former health secretary thinks he can be successful this time around and announced his leadership campaign on Saturday.
Speaking to The Telegraph, Mr Hunt said: “It’s very straightforward why I want to do it. It is because we have to restore trust, grow the economy, and win the next election. Those are the three things that have to happen and I believe I can do that.”
Yet even Tories think Mr Hunt becoming Conservative Party leader would be terrible:
\u201cHow did we even get into a position where Jeremy Hunt is a viable candidate for the next PM?\u201d— #Marcher (@#Marcher) 1657316848
\u201cYou know that we are in the pit of hell when Jeremy Hunt is now being discussed as experienced.\u201d— SuzieWong \ud83c\uddec\ud83c\udde7 \ud83c\uddea\ud83c\uddfa \ud83c\uddf3\ud83c\uddf4 \ud83c\uddf5\ud83c\uddf8 \ud83c\uddf8\ud83c\uddfe \ud83c\uddfe\ud83c\uddea \ud83c\udded\ud83c\uddf0 (@SuzieWong \ud83c\uddec\ud83c\udde7 \ud83c\uddea\ud83c\uddfa \ud83c\uddf3\ud83c\uddf4 \ud83c\uddf5\ud83c\uddf8 \ud83c\uddf8\ud83c\uddfe \ud83c\uddfe\ud83c\uddea \ud83c\udded\ud83c\uddf0) 1657401068
\u201cIf Jeremy Hunt is the answer then, trust me, you\u2019re asking the wrong question.\u201d— Dan Wootton (@Dan Wootton) 1657402378
\u201cWhen Jeremy Hunt is the least bad option, you know we are absolutely in the shite.\u201d— Joe.\ud83c\uddfa\ud83c\udde6 \ud83c\uddea\ud83c\uddfa\u267f\ufe0f\ud83d\udc1f #RightToLove #FBPE. (@Joe.\ud83c\uddfa\ud83c\udde6 \ud83c\uddea\ud83c\uddfa\u267f\ufe0f\ud83d\udc1f #RightToLove #FBPE.) 1657401130
\u201cIf Jeremy Hunt wins the leadership election, I will be leaving the Conservative Party.\u201d— Emily Hewertson (@Emily Hewertson) 1657399148
\u201cBREAKING: Jeremy Hunt has joined the race to succeed Boris Johnson. If successful, he will be the fourth consecutive Jeremy Hunt to become prime minister x\u201d— Laura Kuenssberg Translator (@Laura Kuenssberg Translator) 1657407096
Nadhim Zahawi
The MP who resigned as Boris Johnson’s education secretary only to rejoin the government as chancellor has made clear he thinks he has what it takes to lead the Conservative Party.
The former vaccines minister said: “My aim is a simple one: to provide the opportunities that were afforded to my generation, to all Britons, whoever you are and wherever you come from. To steady the ship and to stabilise the economy.”
Yet in a wild week for the chancellor, it’s been announced that HMRC are investigating his tax affairs.
Sajid Javid
The former health secretary has thrown his hat into the ring, standing for leader once again after he put his name forward to replace Theresa May back in 2019.
He has told The Telegraph that a “prerequisite for growth is tax cuts”, adding: “There are some that say that you can't have tax cuts until you've got growth. I think that's wrong. I think that is fundamentally flawed analysis. I think you can't have growth until you've got the tax cuts."
There’s been criticism of his chances, too:
\u201cRishi Sunak and Sajid Javid will rinse the whole 'child of immigrants' nonsense as if they didn't serve in a cabinet that was about to deport people to Rwanda.\u201d— Hamza (@Hamza) 1657295598
\u201cNever Rishi Sunak\nNever Sajid Javid\nAgree?\n#BackBoris\nYes Yes Yes\n\ud83d\udc47 \ud83d\udc47 \ud83d\udc47\u201d— Dave. #BackBoris (@Dave. #BackBoris) 1657384936
Penny Mordaunt
International trade minister and former paymaster general Penny Mordaunt is reportedly a strong favourite among young Conservatives, and announced her leadership bid on Sunday morning.
It came after she posted a thread addressing the question of “do I know what a woman is”.
Some have already mocked her chances:
\u201cGet your Penny Mordaunt Tory leadership candidate name by combining a unit of currency with a portmanteau of ominous death. I'm Tuppence Bloodfrenzy.\u201d— Balderdash (@Balderdash) 1657307312
\u201cPenny Mordaunt used to be a magician's assistant. Perhaps she could make herself disappear. We don't want a right wing crackpot following an Eton toss pot!\u201d— Matthew Payne (@Matthew Payne) 1657186743
Grant Shapps
Yes, the transport secretary who has made promotional videos of him in sunglasses and playing around in a train simulator seriously thinks he has what it takes to be the next Conservative Party leader.
In a tweet on Sunday setting out his vision for the premiership, Mr Shapps wrote: “My case for the leadership is simple. I plan. I communicate. I campaign. I deliver. And I can win an election for our party in tough times.”
Except his campaign has already been met with ridicule, including references to past pseudonyms he has used such as Michael Green and Sebastian Fox:
\u201c@grantshapps Seeing how you\u2019ve handled transport, I hope that never happens.\u201d— Rt Hon Grant Shapps MP (@Rt Hon Grant Shapps MP) 1657436412
\u201cGrant Shapps ? Shurley shome mishtake\u201d— Nicholas Soames (@Nicholas Soames) 1657383341
\u201cGrant Shapps announces he\u2019s standing for party leader thereby adding another four candidates to the list.\u201d— Mark Tucker (@Mark Tucker) 1657384547
\u201cGrant Shapps has announced he's running for Tory leader, practically doubling the number of candidates in one fell swoop.\u201d— Edwin Hayward \ud83e\udd84 \ud83d\udde1 (@Edwin Hayward \ud83e\udd84 \ud83d\udde1) 1657384889
\u201cNow that I\u2019ve stopped crying with laughter, I can tell you that the confused hamster Grant Shapps, is standing for Conservative leader, alongside his 47 aliases.\u201d— Supertanskiii (@Supertanskiii) 1657386413
Rehman Chishti
The MP for Gillingham and Rainham, in Kent, announced he was standing for election on Sunday night. He said his campaign is all about “aspirational conservatism, fresh ideas [and a] fresh team for a fresh start taking our country forward”.
Unfortunately, the Foreign, Commonwealth and Development Office minister has run into the issue of most of the general public not having a clue who he is:
\u201c@Rehman_Chishti What are you doing in this photo?\u201d— Rehman Chishti (@Rehman Chishti) 1657487538
\u201c@Rehman_Chishti\u201d— Rehman Chishti (@Rehman Chishti) 1657487538
\u201c@Rehman_Chishti @robpowellnews\u201d— Rehman Chishti (@Rehman Chishti) 1657487538
\u201c@Rehman_Chishti Everyone in UK\u201d— Rehman Chishti (@Rehman Chishti) 1657487538
\u201c@Rehman_Chishti @robpowellnews Quick question how many people in the country do you think know who you are? I\u2019m going to guess under 2%\u201d— Rehman Chishti (@Rehman Chishti) 1657487538
\u201c@Rehman_Chishti Rehman Chishti doesn't even know who Rehman Chishti is!\u201d— Rehman Chishti (@Rehman Chishti) 1657487538
Not good if you want to be our prime minister, really, is it?
Steve Baker
The arch-Brexiteer has already ruled himself out when it comes to the leadership election, throwing his support behind Suella Braverman instead, but we can’t help but mention his relaunched pressure group titled ‘Conservative Way Forward’.
According to its LinkedIn page, the organisation was “founded in 1991 to defend and build upon the achievements of the Conservative Party under Margaret Thatcher’s leadership, and to adapt the principles of her era in government to modern concerns and challenges”.
Mr Baker, who is chairman of the Thatcherite group, has already said he will be “relaunching Conservative Way Forward to redefine the territory on which the Conservative Party operates”.
That’ll stick in people’s heads, Steve!
\u201cWow great slogan, Steve, super catchy, the red wall\u2019s gonna love it.\u201d— Sooz Kempner (@Sooz Kempner) 1657280497
\u201cIn a bold and unexpected move, Steve Baker's leadership campaign is based around a riddle, a poster for a Gym in the late-80s, and photo of himself with a meat cleaver through his head\u201d— Russ Jones (@Russ Jones) 1657295551
\u201cGreat to see Steve Baker has employed a graphic designer who both uses Powerpoint and hasn't changed the design template since the 1980s\n\nAll it needs is some Baskerville type on a curve and the design is complete\u201d— Louis \ud83c\uddec\ud83c\udde7 \ud83c\uddea\ud83c\uddfa \u3013\u3013 \ud83d\udc99 Defend the right to vote (@Louis \ud83c\uddec\ud83c\udde7 \ud83c\uddea\ud83c\uddfa \u3013\u3013 \ud83d\udc99 Defend the right to vote) 1657228051
\u201cThe first shots have been fired in the coming Tory civil war of bad graphic design. This leadership contest is gonna bring some gold.\n\nSteve Baker kicks things off with a big blue triangle firmly embedded in his back and a plank through his head. 0/10\u201d— Jon Cornejo (@Jon Cornejo) 1657289011
Is it too late to back Larry the Cat?
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