Chancellor Jeremy Hunt has just unveiled the 2023 budget.
Cleaning up the mess former prime minister Liz Truss left the country in with her disastrous "mini-budget", the chancellor announced policies about childcare, energy and pension savings, linking everything to prime minister Rishi Sunak's priorities for his government and his "five 'e's"...
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It comes after Hunt's previous autumn statement last November, which saw him hike taxes.
Here is everything that was announced in the budget, and what we made of it:
"The plan is working," 6/10
Hunt began by praising the economy for being "on the right track" and said the UK will no longer enter a recession this year because of his measures, according to the Office of Budgetary Responsibility (OBR).
This is all very well but inflation is still high, we've seen supermarket food shortages and renters and mortgage holders alike are struggling.
People are not calling the situation a cost of living crisis for nothing.
"We should always stand ready to help where we can" 8/10
Praising the interventions of experts including Martin Lewis, Hunt announced the extension of the energy price guarantee, capping average annual household bills at £2,500.
Hunt cancelled the planned £500 hike in average energy bills which was due to come into force next month.
He said the measure would help families save a further £160.
"Brexit pubs guarantee" 0/10
After announcing extra money for swimming pools and suicide prevention, Hunt announced an increase in "draught relief" to lower the cost of alcohol in pubs.
Hunt told MPs: "From August 1 the duty on draught products in pubs will be up to 11p lower than the duty in supermarkets, a differential we will maintain as part of a new Brexit pubs guarantee. British ale may be warm, but the duty on a pint is frozen."
He said it would help the economy and families, which is good but he couldn't help himself, describing the policy with this ridiculous language.
"We inherited an economy that had crashed," 2/10
Next the chancellor talked about freezing fuel duty, the government's record on debt and said there was a "surplus" in the government's current budget.
He appeared to blame Labour - a party that has not been in power for 13 years - for issues in the economy before praising successive Conservative chancellors for what he randomly claimed was a good economy. Does anyone remember austerity under David Cameron?
This random diversion into political jousting comes no doubt as the Tories languish in the polls in comparison to Labour, and it came across as tacky and desperate.
"It's the Conservatives that fix the roof when the sun is shining," 2/10
We just looked out the window and didn't see the sun, to be honest, metaphorically or not.
"The wind doesn't always blow and the wind doesn't always shine under the Conservatives," 1/10
Hunt then announced increased to defence spending to support Ukraine and help for veterans before turning to levelling up and capital investment and tax. Then he said he wanted to help the "green economy" by investing in nuclear as well as renewable energy.
Nuclear power will now be classed as "environmentally sustainable" meaning it can get same access to investment as renewable energy.
He should have been forced to leave the Commons for making the terrible joke about renewables.
"Independence is always better than dependence... with some exceptions", 3/10
Hunt then spoke about getting inactive people into work and announced a new universal support scheme – a voluntary employment scheme for disabled people to help get back into work. He also announced policies for children in care and then unleashed this Thatcher-era nonsense.
"Those who can work should," he said before announcing "sanctions" for people who refuse to take up work.
Lovely...
Then he turned to pensions:
"I will increase the pensions annual tax-free allowance by 50 per cent from £40,000 to £60,000," he said. "Some have also asked me to increase the Lifetime Allowance from its £1 million limit. But I have decided not to do that.
“Instead I will go further and abolish the Lifetime Allowance altogether.”
And finally, announced an extension of the provision of free childcare.
Let's see what happens to the economy now...
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