This girl learned the hard way not to drink before turning in an essay

We’ve all left university assignments to the last minute, but not many of us have left it quite so heroically late and stylish as this student claims to have done.

McKenna Clark said she decided not only to leave her criminal justice essay until the last night, she decided to go out and get very, very drunk before writing it.

Although there must be a healthy dose of scepticism as to whether it really made its way into a professor’s hands, her friend is backing her claims.

The result, everyone can agree, is pretty unique. Here’s the essay in full:

Illegal to kiss on train (mala prohibita) talk about weather it should be illegal or not. It should be legal to kiss on the train because it is romantic. Professor Grams, my name is McKenna, I had some Dr. Pepper’s I am doing good. Your assignment is way too hard. I can’t do it right now. I am better now, however, because the Dr. Pepper wore off. I am now contemplating the assignemtn that you gave me. It’s illegal to kiss on the train because it is a safety violation. If you are kissing while on the train you must realize that it could end up being dangerous. If the driver was kissing on the train, who would be driving the train. You are welcome. Love you,

To be fair, who would be driving the train?