This extremely sweary British comedian in France is very confused about how to kiss people

Paul Taylor, a stand-up comedian and British expat, has had enough of kissing.

Taylor, who moved to Paris six years ago, turned to stand-up comedy full time after quitting his job at Apple last year.

In this video the stand-up performer mocks the French greeting known as "La Bise" for making his life in France confusing, and for keeping him from his beer.

He told The Local:

It's one of those cultural differences that we as foreigners appreciate. And I think the French people can see that I'm joking, while realizing how silly it can be at the same time.

The etiquette in France apparently isn't clear, leading to confusion about how many kisses you're supposed to give someone and from which side.

If I meet a girl that I've never met before, I don't know what to do... Do I shake her hand, do I give her one kiss, do I give her two kisses, do I give her three kisses, do I give her four kisses, do I give her five kisses... How many f--king kisses should I be giving you?

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