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And there's no mention of the EU, the weather, Princess Diana or Madeleine McCann in sight.
Enhance...
HT: Nick Sutton on Twitter, who also later posted an updated version of the front page once the placeholder text had been over-written.
More: [Expect more of these inglorious headlines if the Express backs Ukip]3
More: [Do 80 per cent of Britons really want to leave the EU?]4