Now people are writing erotic fan-fiction about the Ever Given Suez saga

The news story of the Ever Given being stuck in the Suez Canal gripped the world for the best part of a week and we all worked hard to find original ways of describing the event, rather than just saying: yep, it’s still stuck.

But, some writers have taken it to a whole new level, by penning fan-fiction – some of which can best be described as rather erotic – about the giant container ship.

The relationship between a boat and a waterway is not, perhaps, the most obvious source of inspiration for love stories, but each to their own. And there’s no arguing that it makes for some interesting reading.

Maybe it’s just me - and the impact of a year in lockdown - but when Archive of Your Own author Rooftop_Goldfish wrote: “The Suez Canal didn’t think they believed in love at first sight, until love at first sight happened. Technically it was love at first grounding-resulting-in-total-obstruction, but love at first sight sounded so much sweeter” – well, it made me emotional.

Just me? Maybe not, considering there are dozens of stories of a similar nature on the fan-fiction publishing site.

Read more:

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• David Lammy hailed for perfect response to caller who says he’ll ‘never be English’
• 35 of the funniest memes about the Ever Given as the ship is freed from the Suez Canal
• Wendy’s chicken sandwich nightmare sparks fierce TikTok debate

In one, entitled The Sweet Suez, which has garnered more than 13,000 reads on Archive of Our Own, it describes how the Ever Given got stuck in the Suez Canal after the winds acted as her “subtle invitation to spend time together”. As a result, it says the departure of the ship from the waterway caused joy for the rest of the world, but “mourning” for the Ever Given.

The story, by user All_my_fandoms_are_killing me, is certainly the most popular on the site –also going viral on social media site Tumblr – but there are dozen of other stories romanticising the relationship between the boat and canal.

A passage from another, entitled Suez, My Beloved, reads: “They stay like that, held tight in each other’s embrace, as the sun dips below the horizon. It’s cold at night, but Suez simply holds Ever Given close, warming each other through the frozen air until the sun reappears again.”

In an emotional marker of the departure of the Ever Given from the Suez Canal, authorSpaceWaffleHouseTM writes:

“Goodbye, Ever Given, I’ll never forget you.”

The Canal sniffles as the ship moves on into the remainder of her tight channel. “Nor I, you.” Then all they can do is watch as the other fades into the distance, leaving their watery affair to be nothing but a memory.

The fan-fiction certainly gave people who don’t want the Suez drama to end something to cling onto...

However, the content from some of the fan-fiction is, honestly, far too explicit to share here.

It certainly brings a new meaning to the phrase “deck pics”, anyway.