Nine of the worst arguments against gay marriage in Ireland

In the final countdown to Ireland’s referendum on gay marriage on Friday, tensions in the country between the 'yes' and 'no' camps are running high.

If the amendment to Ireland’s constitution passes - as is widely expected - Ireland will be the first country in the world to legalise same-sex marriage by popular vote.

Ireland only decriminalised homosexuality in 1993 and made divorce fully legal in 1995, so it’s perhaps understandable that some people are having a hard time catching up with the drive for equality.

i100.co.uk has rounded up some of the best worst arguments against voting yes on Friday (You’ve got to laugh. If you don’t laugh, you’ll cry.)

1.Because if you fight for the gay right to marriage, you might get cancer.

2. A corker, this one: because we must keep ideology out of schools.

Never mind all the millennia of childhood indoctrination through church. That’s definitely not the same thing as ideology, according to "No" pressure group Mothers and Father Matter.

3. Because “You can’t start a herd with two bulls:”

Perhaps not, but two bulls adopting a baby calf is quite a sweet image.

4. Because no legislation will change what happens on Judgement Day:

Downside: eternal damnation. Flipside: Hang out with Graham Norton forever.

5. We don’t follow the logic here but, you know, Uganda?

6. Because it’s a slippery slope, writes Bruce Arnold in The Irish Times:

What heterosexuals have, homosexuals must also have. If men and woman can marry, then men with men and women with women also should be free to marry. If this happens then why not sons marrying mothers, or indeed fathers, and sisters marrying sisters? Why should the transfer of marriage to same-sex unions, motivated by individual desire, stop there?

7. Because gay people can already get married, duh. Just not to people they love. Arnold again:

At present a homosexual has the same right to marry as a heterosexual... Neither the homosexual nor the heterosexual has the right to marry another person of the same sex. That is legal and social equality, attaching to all citizens.

8. Because if homosexual couples have kids with the help of donors, said kids will be “deliberately” kept in the dark about their identity and genetic heritage, which will cause health complications.

According to Mothers and Fathers Matter.

9. Because this oven-gloved man told you 'Yes' is a vote for Judas:

There we have it, Ireland: a yes vote on Friday will give you cancer, make children gay and unhealthy, and lead to state-endorsed incest. You’ve been warned, so cast your ballot wisely.

More:These are the Cabinet ministers who voted against the gay marriage bill