Neighbour’s note urging woman to dump ‘whiny’ boyfriend sparks domestic abuse debate

Everybody needs good neighbours – so the famous Australian soap opera tells us – but how many of us would welcome relationship advice from the people living next door?

This was something one woman received, whether she liked it or not, via a brutal note posted by her neighbour in New York.

In the typed letter, which was shared on Reddit’s “Trashy” forum, the anonymous scribe asked the woman to do everyone in the building “a favour and dump” her boyfriend.

“We don’t need to be woken up one more time at 2am because he can’t be an adult and hold his s*** together,” they said.

“Not one more time woken up by slamming doors, stomping feet and the worst part – hearing his whiny a** voice yell ‘what the f***.’”

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They then referenced a row that the couple had two years ago, saying: “You were right to hit him with an ironing board.”

The plea ended: “Your new dog deserves better. Just BREAK. UP. ALREADY.

“Please allow us to go at least one month without being woken up in the middle of the night.”

Posting a photo of the note online, the recipient commented: “When your neighbours are exhausted of (sic) your fighting, it’s time to reflect on some things …”

The note sparked a serious debate among fellow Redditers, racking up more than 1,300 comments in 24 hours.

Many aired their concerns for the woman and her partner, with a number sharing their own experiences of toxic relationships.

“It’s never right to hit someone with an ironing board,” commented one user. “Domestic violence is real and not exclusively a gendered issue.

“She is an abuser and no matter what sort of knob he is, violence is not the answer.”

Another added: “Yeah I’m all for telling someone they should dump their d***head partner but don’t encourage domestic violence, with or without context assaulting a partner is never a good thing to applaud.”

But another defended the note’s creator, writing: “If it starts disturbing the neighbourhood then it becomes everyone’s personal matter.”

Others wrote of hearing “fighting and screaming” and instances of abuse among their own neighbours.

When one asked in response to the letter: “Why wait this long, call the police for public disturbance, 2am? Repeatedly? F*** that, I have a life to. Get it resolved asap.”

Another responded: “I called the cops on my downstairs neighbor that was hitting his live in girlfriend in the hallway (I had always heard the fighting but didn’t know it was violent until then).

“He was back the next day because she wouldn’t press charges. The police have little motivation to help a woman who won’t agree to press charges.”

All we can say is that we hope the woman and her boyfriend get the help they need.

If you’re worried about anyone you think might be experiencing domestic abuse, there are many places you can contact.

These include the UK’s 24-hour National Domestic Abuse Helpline: 0808 2000 247.

And the National Domestic Violence Hotline in the US: 1.800.799.SAFE (7233)