King Charles coronation: The weirdest food and merchandise up for grabs

At the apex of significant cultural events and latening late capitalism lies tat - and the King's coronation in 2023 is no different.

Amid the rigmarole of making King Charles III the official King, the coronation of the monarch and his wife, Camilla, is scheduled to take place on Saturday, 6 May 2023 after he acceded to the throne on 8 September 2022 when his mother, the late Queen Elizabeth II died.

And so, brands have rushed to create all manner of food, tat, merchandise and memorabilia to celebrate the occasion, so punters lucky enough to be able to put the 'disposable' in 'disposable income' can stock up on duvet covers, coleslaw and more.

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Below we look at nine of the more heinous souvenirs on offer at this time, and if they don't make you sympathise with republicanism, we don't know what will.

1. Coronation quiche

When the late Queen had her coronation in 1953, a special new dish was made for her - coronation chicken. The chicken dish in a curry sauce lives on 70 years later so it must be pretty popular.

But King Charles III has opted for his own special meal - a quiche made with spinach, broad beans and tarragon.

It is an acquired taste that might not be for everyone but to each their own.

2. Coronation coleslaw

And while the King munches on his official quiche, supermarkets have decided to cash in on the festivities and launch their own coronation-inspired foods.

With that, 'coronation coleslaw' was birthed by M&S, which replaces the usual mayo-laden sauce present in coleslaw with the curry sauce we normally see in coronation chicken.

M&S

3. Coronation 'gnome'

Tired of eating to show your pride in the country? On to the tat, we go. Always a major vestibule of tat, Etsy is flogging a small garden gnome to see the new King in style.

But it doesn't, ahem, look like a gnome, as people on social media have pointed out.

4. Massive banner

Food and 'gnomes' are all very good, but the best way to celebrate an event like a coronation is by getting a huge banner.

To that end, a party website has made a 1.2 metre cut-out of the King for people to place in their living rooms.

While some would argue reducing the monarch to the height of a 7-year-old child is deeply unpatriotic, others might appreciate the King not taking up too much space in their homes.

You be the judge.

Partypacks

5. Expensive scarf

Those most excited about the coronation, though, will be heading outside to street parties and events to really make the most of the day. And with the weather proving unpredictable, Harrods (of course) is selling a scarf to keep people warm and stylish.

The celebratory piece of fabric is quite the eyesore.

Harrods

6. Bougie teddy bear

At just £75, it is not as expensive as this teddy bear which has been unbelievably priced at £345.

Aside from the price, the purple crown-clad toy looks pretty creepy.

merrythought

7. Union flag dress

Garish or great?

Below, Asda gifts the world with a dress that - if worn - might make you get mistaken for a member of UKIP.

Asda

8. Duvet cover

When you go to sleep at night, what do you think about? What do you have to do the next day? Whether you locked up and turned the oven off? Or King and Country like a good patriot?

To assist with the last and only appropriate answer, why not go to sleep encased in the loving embrace of Asda's coronation party reversible duvet set, with images of corgis, cabs, union flags, buses and everything else that screams 'Britain'?

9. Coronation toilet paper

Finally, Etsy is selling some toilet roll that celebrates the King's coronation.

We'll let you make the jokes with that one.

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