Man waits two years to seek help after bum and penis started doing each other’s jobs

Of course, if you start urinating out of your anus and passing gas through your penis, then that’s a terrible mix-up and you should probably get that checked out.

However, one 33-year-old man – whose identity and location, fortunately for him, remains unknown – decided to wait two years before telling doctors that things aren’t really as they should be.

A research article published by US scientists last month, with the incredible title of ‘A Curious Case of Rectal Ejaculation’, reads: “A 33-year-old male with a history of illicit drug use presented with five days of testicular pain. He also noted a substantial amount of urine and sperm passage from his rectum in addition to pneumaturia and fecaluria for the past two years.”

Why he decided to wait two years to raise the issue, we don’t know – nor do we want to know.

Oh, and for those wondering, pneumaturia and fecaluria relate to gas and faeces in a person’s urine respectively. Now you know.

You’re welcome.

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Analysis of the poor soul’s urine appeared to suggest a urinary tract infection, while a CT scan of his pelvis revealed swelling in his left testicular tube and a “gas-filled structure” in his prostate which was communicating with his rectum.

The finding of the gassy structure led scientists to believe he had a “chronic appearing rectal-prostate fistula”, before this was confirmed with a special x-ray known as a voiding cystourethrogram (VCUG).

That’s medical jargon for the two organs being linked up in a way that, obviously, isn’t normal at all.

The article goes on to state that the individual was in a three-week comatose state as a result of being intoxicated with cocaine and the hallucinogenic drug, phencyclidine. A catheter was used during that hospitalisation, which caused “significant trauma”, the researchers write.

Thankfully, a surgical procedure resolved the issue, and the patient “recovered with only mildly reduced antegrade ejaculatory volume over several months”.

We’ll let you figure out what that means, but we think the “only” in that sentence is doing a lot of heavy lifting…

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