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Conspiracy theorists think Cern scientists are about to unleash 'hell on Earth'

Picture:
Picture:
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Maybe they're being a bit over the top about 2016.

The pyjama people are at it again.

You know who we mean.

The types who spend hours of the day watching "truth" videos that cunningly slipped through the CIA's censorship methods over the mass media, and made it onto that underground bastion of freedom: YouTube.

Scientists-come-pioneers at the European Organisation for Nuclear Research (Cern) made a merry announcement this week.

The organisation's ALPHA unit (cool, right?) had a breakthrough in anti-matter research.

The team, led by Jeffrey Hangst, were "tickling" atoms of antimatter with lasers.

This is all to make them shine.

At stake was a theory that said matter and antimatter atoms would have the same energy levels.

In a study of antimatter, the ALPHA team managed to trap 14 anti-hydrogen atoms at once.

According to New Scientist, this is a very difficult feat, which used powerful magnetic fields to trap the antimatter.

Hangst and his team then directed intense lasers at the atoms, in order to watch them absorb and then re-emit light.

Cern compared this to the wavelengths absorbed and emitted by matter hydrogen atoms.

The spectrums of the matter and antimatter atoms respectively showed they emitted and absorbed light at the same wavelength.

As this is the first time anyone has managed to trap and measure so many antimatter atoms, more measurements will be needed in order to improve the accuracy of measurements.

The people rejoiced at this breakthrough.

GLORIOUS! SCIENCE! PROGRESS! FUTURE SHOCK!

Nope. The internet thinks Cern is opening a hell mouth.

Cern didn't just capture antimatter, it had to create some. This is too much for some people.

The anti-science, reason and logic group Christian Truther has accused Cern of manifesting "Hell on Earth".

Antimatter would be a demonically charged particle retrieved from the pit, bringing with it chaos and destruction. Cern has coded it in such a way to make it sound positive, when in fact, supersymmetry is unobtainable. Humans are not gods. Thus we could never produce heaven on earth. Cern is building the kingdom of the antichrist, hell on earth.

Cern haven't helped matters with regards to their occult image.

In August a prank video was created at the Geneva laboratory that appeared to show hooded figures carrying out a human sacrifice.

This "found footage" was condemned by Cern who told the Independent that they do not "condone this type of spoof".

For reasons passing understanding, Cern has a giant statue of Shiva - the destroyer of worlds, a la the words of J Robert Oppenheimer, the father of nuclear weapons.

So the red pill people aren't being that ridiculous about this.

It was under this giant statue that the "ritual" video was enacted. So they're sort of asking for it. Alternatively the scientists there have great troll game.

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