Thousands sign petition to replace Confederate monuments in Louisiana with statues of Britney Spears

Statues across the world are getting more attention than they have since they were first erected.

As cities and towns re-evaluate whether it might actually be better not to have everlasting monuments to people who actively enslaved and oppressed others, a new question has arisen: what do we replace them with?

In the 11 US states that were part of the racist Confederate States of America, which seceded in 1861 in opposition to President Lincoln’s plan to abolish slavery, this is proving taxing.

Turns out there are a lot of Confederacy-related memorials.

Like in Louisiana, which has a reported 32 statues and monuments that are symbols of the Confederacy.

Luckily one innovative thinker has come up with a simple scheme to fill the gap left by removing those monuments.

Kassie Thibodeaux is proposing replacing them with statues in honour of Louisiana’s most famous and unproblematic export: Ms Britney Jean Spears.

In a petition on Change.org addressed to Louisiana governor John Bel Edwards and five other decision making individuals or bodies, including the Louisiana State Senate and Bill Cassidy, the state senator, Thibodeaux writes:

Before becoming one of the world's most important and influential pop legends, Britney Spears was living life in a small southern town by the name of Kentwood, Louisiana.

Not only has Britney proven her talent, but she's proven her strength of character by not only overcoming highly publicized mental breakdown, but by continuously working towards improving herself. She's an inspiration to millions. 

The description then lists some of Britney’s contributions towards the state, including donating money to Hurricane Katrina relief programmes and further donations towards flood recovery funds since.

Thibodeaux concludes by saying:

She's already earned her star on Hollywood's Walk of Fame, and now it's time for her home state to honor her with the tribute that she deserves.

Do the right thing: Replace the Confederate statues with an actual Louisiana hero and influencial [sic] human being, Britney Spears.

The petition has already attracted 9,236 signatures at the time of writing and is sure to reach its target of 10,000 especially if people are shown that one iconic scene in Hustlers scored using Britney’s 2007 single ‘Gimme More’.

So good.

It's not even a new cause; Thibodeaux originally began the petition in 2017 but has re-opened in light of recent events.

Prescience? Or more probably: evidence that change has been needed for a long time.

Either way, maybe this time the governor is in the mood to listen....