13 things that went spectacularly wrong in Britain this week

How great is Great Britain really?

On the one hand, we've got a cost of living crisis, climate change, and Tory leadership vacuum that will either be filled with a cheese obsessed Thatcherite or a man who doesn't know how to use a debit card.

But on the other hand, Big Brother is coming back?

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Yes, things have been better, to put it mildly, and this week alone a number of things went absolutely tits up and made us pretty concerned about the state of the country.

Here are 13 of them:

1. Sewage on the beaches

S**t has hit the fan in Britain, but it has also hit the coastline.

Why? Because water companies have been pumping raw sewage into the oceans and opposition parties are angry at the government, saying they should deal with it.

Some beaches have been closed, but some swimmers reportedly could be wading through crap with no warning, which is just lovely.

We just hope they've got goggles.

2. Cost of living crisis

No matter, though. It is not like people can afford to go on trips to the beach. Thanks to rising inflation, an energy crisis and no new measures to help from the PM, who is faffing about while Tories decide who should replace him, people are struggling to pay their bills.

Indeed, more than half of British households, 54 per cent, will be in fuel poverty by October, according to reports.

Not alarming at all.

3. Energy prices skyrocketing

Let's dive into the energy crisis specifically, because that is one of the things that made this week excruciating.

Today, people woke up to news that tightened a knot in their stomach - the energy price cap will increase by 80 per cent in October, taking a typical bill to £3,549 a year.

Ofgem boss Jonathan Brearley admitted that the rise would be "devastating for many families".

He told the BBC that the new prime minister will "need to act urgently and decisively to address this".

But no ministers wanted to chat about it on breakfast TV:

4. Climate change

And while money isn't burning a hole in anyone's pockets, the sun is certainly burning and we've experienced soaring temperatures in the last few weeks.

The UK recorded temperatures above 40C for the first time on 19 July, causing wildfires and disruption, and hosepipe bans have been put in place in some areas of the country because of how dry the summer has been.

Will the next prime minister deal with this?

5. Liz Truss said GB News gets its 'facts right'

Well, the next PM is likely to be Liz Truss and it seems she is too busy slagging off the media to deal with anything else.

She took part in a hustings event in Manchester last Friday evening and accused the BBC of "not getting their facts right", in comparison to the bastion of accuracy, GB News.

She was being interviewed by Alistair Stewart who referenced a report that Truss wrote in 2009, incorrectly stating that it was written in 2019.

Laughing after the error, Truss said: “I always thought you had high-quality standards at GB News.”

She added: “It’s not the BBC, you actually get your facts right.”

People were not thrilled and she got a telling off from former BBC Breakfast presenter Dan Walker:

6. A TalkTV caller called for migrant boats to be sabotaged with drones

And while GB News was punching below its weight, so was TalkTV. Yes, showing a lot of kindness and empathy, not, this weekend a TalkTV caller suggested migrant boats should be shot with darts to stop people coming to the UK.

Rather than be horrified, host Mike Graham called Rosemary from Kent's idea "great" and congratulated her for coming up with it.

7. Rachel Johnson interviewed Stanley Johnson about Boris Johnson

Over to LBC now which showed that there is absolutely no nepotism in politics at all when Boris Johnson's sister interviewed her dad about her brother on LBC over the weekend.

We're not sure how you can hold your brother or son to account personally, but that's the breaks.

8. Boris Johnson is wasting his final weeks in office

We can hold power to account, though, and here we go: Johnson has been wasting his final weeks in office by going on a series of holidays and messing around in jets. We never thought we'd say we miss him and saying that now is probably too far, but it would be nice having someone in office dealing with the mess we are in, even if it that person is someone is a splayed toothbrush that's run out of batteries.

9. Just Tories in general

Living on what appears to be Johnson island is bad enough, but being ruled for the last 12 years by a party who could organise a p**s-up in a brewery (as long as it is during lockdown) but can't organise effective measures to deal with all the societal ills that are plaguing the nation really is something else.

10. Truss is prepared to use nuclear weapons

We mean really, look at the Tories. Asked about nukes during a leadership hustings this week, Truss didn't shy away from the prospect of using them. She answered by saying: "I think it's an important duty of the prime minister and I'm ready to do that… I'm ready to do that."

Good. Stuff.

11. Everyone is on strike.

Meanwhile, we've faced a number of rail strikes in the last few weeks over pay and conditions, barristers have also voted to go on strike and some 115,000 Royal Mail postal workers are striking on Friday in a dispute over pay.

Britain is creaking.

12. NHS is in tatters

So no wonder one woman took the opportunity to heckle health secretary Steve Barclay on Thursday, when she spotted him doing an interview outside London's Moorfield eye hospital.

"Are you going to do anything about the ambulances waiting and the people dying out?" she said. "Well don't you think 12 years is long enough?"

Barclay started trying to answer and said "yes and we are taking -" but the woman didn't listen and went on: "Twelve years - you've done bugger all about it."

"People have died and all you've done is nothing," she added before turning around and walking off and just like that a hero was made.

13. Tory leadership election

Finally, with our potential replacements for PM being either Liz Truss or Rishi Sunak, we aren't hopeful that things are going to get better any time soon.

Yep, we're screwed.

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