The Conversation (0)
News
Greg Evans
Dec 13, 2019
As you are most likely aware by now, Boris Johnson and the Conservatives have swept to a resounding victory in the general election, achieving an overwhelming majority and a strong mandate for Brexit.
Before he achieved all that, he had to actually win his seat in Uxbridge and South Ruislip, which some had thought was potentially up for grabs, thanks a strong campaign by the Labour candidate Ali Milani.
Unfortunately for Milani, it wasn't meant to be, as Johnson won 25,351 votes to Milani's respectful 18,141. At the end of the day, it was only ever going to be these two gentleman who were going to win the seat.
Here are the results in full:
- Boris Johnson, Conservatives, 25,351
- Ali Milani, Labour, 18,141​
- Joanne Humphreys, Liberal Democrat, 3,026
- Mark Kier, Green, 1,090
- Geoffrey Courtenay, UKIP​, 283
- Lord Buckethead, Monster Raving Loony Party, 125
- Count Binface, Independent, 69
- Alfie John Utting, Independent, 44
- Yace "Interplanetary Time Lord" Yogenstein, Independent, 23
- Norma Burke, Independent, 22
- Bobby 'Elmo' Smith, Independent, 8
- William John Tobin, Independent, 5
Just reading through those names make you realise, that despite everything, you really do have to love this country sometimes.
What is even better, is actually seeing Johnson give his victory speech in front of this mix of serious candidates and 'interplanetary time lords.'
Sadly it wasn't to be for Count Binface, who told us early this week, that he 'applauds novelty candidates like Boris Johnson' - a joke he repeated after Johnson was elected.
Binface, who won 69 votes (nice) had quite an evening after he ran into his old 'adversary' Lord Buckethead.
Binface had previously gone by that name but a copyright dispute saw the rights go to someone else who adopted the Buckethead moniker.
Before the votes were counted there was a brief confrontation between the two sci-fi characters, as Binface mocked Buckethead while the latter was talking to the press.
In the end, it was Buckethead who got the last laugh, winning more votes than Binface, a victory he took gracefully...
Speaking after the result, Count Binface told Indy100:
I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion.
A South West Trains service running on time. But I never thought I'd see Boris Johnson win a substantial majority in the House of Commons.
You humans are mad. I predicted that Brexit would be a shitshow, and so it has proved.
Now I am sorry to add that if said shitshow is a game of Monopoly, you're only at the Old Kent Road.
As for me, I've just experienced a 69 (votes) with your Prime Minister, which I call a triumph, and he would call a 'technology lesson'.
Per ardua ad astra, Britain! CB x
Even if you are dejected about the result of the general election, at least take some solace that democracy allowed a bunch of people in daft outfits, win some votes off the prime minister.
Top 100
x