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Joe Vesey-Byrne
May 26, 2016
Tis the season of exams and for those studying at GCSE and A-Level, it won't be long before their time at school comes to an end.
Reddit and Quora users have been recounting the funniest and harshest responses students have given their teachers. They range from English tutors who've been schooled, to science teachers who got Bunsen BURNed (Sorry).
Surprisingly, some of the best sass has come from the under 11s and even some pre-schoolers, and many of the posts are by teachers who can finally confess their favourite moment of cheekiness.
1. All my friends
This was while working with 9 year olds. We're doing number problems and a kid is having trouble with a sum. The sum is "You have 40 sweets. You give half your sweets to your friend. How many sweets do you have now". I grab 40 counters, and say to the kid "Here are 40 sweets. If you give me half, how many will you have left?". Kid turns to me, and utterly deadpan says "I can't give you the sweets. You aren't my friend"
2.Burning down the house
I had a friend who told the teacher he wasn't going to be able come to an after school event. She started fussing at him telling him that he wouldn't ever to make it college because of how irresponsible he was. When she finally asked why he couldn't come, he replied, "My house burned down."
3. Weird Science
My high school science teacher had this... rule. She had a clock in the back of the class, behind everyone. If you looked at the clock, she'd ask you a random question because she assumed you weren't listening. She wouldn't say your name, so you'd have to listen. She asked my friend a question; "Give me an example of a natural chemical in the body." He responded with "My brain is losing dopamine from listening to you. This chemical is responsible for happiness."
4. We don't need no education
I've taught preschool for years, and one of my favorite "dad" responses to children who are being whiny just to whine is the "Hi, _. I'm your teacher!" (Eg- "I'm thirsty." "Hi, Thirsty. I'm your teacher!"). Anyway, one day, after a long week, I sat down to lunch with my class (preschool, remember? 4-5 year olds), and say to a child (we'll call him Tommy), "Boy, Tommy. I'm really tired today." Without skipping a beat, he swallows his Mac-n-cheese, looks me right in the eyes and says, "Hi, Really Tired. I'm Tommy." That was the day I knew I had taught him all I could.
5. Black math
Well this one was during coaching classes for entrance exams. The maths teacher reduced a given problem to a simpler form and challenged the students "So this expression doesn't fit any of the given standard forms for us to find the particular integral. So what do you propose we do?" A kid from the back shouted "The next question"
6. What I go to school for
Just yesterday actually. One of my classes is fun in that we give each other hard times, but all in good fun and accomplish a lot. A girl starts giggling uncontrollably for no reason, and she's a bit of an airhead so I asked her if she saw something shiny and if that entertained her. Another boy jumps in and says "Yeah Mister, your head" I'm going bald. I wanted to pretend to be mad but it was just too damn funny
7. Hello
We had a teacher that would always threaten to phone our home if we were misbehaving. Which she promptly stopped after: Teacher: "What would your mother say if I called home right now?" Student: "She would say hello."
8. All that Matters
Our teacher was teaching us about the States of Matter, solid liquid and gas. He was talking about how a solid you can break into littler pieces, but how you can't do the same to liquids or gases! So I blurt out "But you can break wind." I still talk to that teacher and he says that was the best part of his teaching career. This was in 6th grade.
9. Schoolin' Life
Teacher said: "Now, where is Macau?" Friend blurted out: "In m'field"
10. These are the words
I remember in my year 6 class, there was this kid who didn't know how to spell a word and the teacher told him to look it up in the dictionary. His response was something like: "If I don't know how to spell it then how will I find it in the dictionary?" The teacher found it pretty amusing.
11. Being Boring
Teacher: "Where's your book?!"
Student: "At home."
Teacher: "And what's it doing there?"
Student: "Having more fun than me."
12. Concrete jungle
Teacher at the end of term getting ready to put on Disney's the Jungle Book: "If you're not quiet while the video is on there's going to be a carnage." Student: "Shere-Khan-age"
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