Man bars wife from the funeral of her stepdad's father - and his excuse is terrible

A man has shared how he upset his wife after he told her she couldn't go to the funeral of her stepdad's father because she needed to stay home to mind the kids while he was at work.

The 28-year-old who remains anonymous posted his dilemma to Reddit's "Am I the A**hole?" forum to get feedback on whether he was in the right or wrong.

He began by detailing how his 27-year-old wife "didn't knew him [stepdad's father] very well," but that "she wanted to go to support her stepdad."

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The wife's stepdad's family lived a four-hour drive away so it would take a considerable amount of the day to get there.

At first, there wasn't an issue since the husband explained he would stay home to look after their children aged six and two, so that he could drop them off at school and daycare before going to work.

However, one of their kids ended up getting ill just days before the funeral which caused him to stay home to look after him the first day, then the man's mum stayed home the second day.

He added that he took a second day off because his wife had to attend a seminar and during these day the man noted how he had been leading "a big project at work."

"Now the day before the funeral I told my wife that I can't take anymore days off from work, I absolutely have to go in tomorrow, my mum is not an option and the kid is still sick," he wrote.

After telling his wife this, she didn't go to the funeral in the end but when the man gets home from work he described how she was "pissed."

The man described how his wife was upset over not being able to attend the funeral of her stepdad's father iStockphoto by Getty Images

"Talking about, how i let her stepdad down, that she really wanted to go for his sake and how I thought work was more important than that," he said.

The man concluded: "Now, I am truly sorry that she couldn't go and i gave my condolences to her stepdad and told him, that i was sorry about the whole situation. But my wife is still mad at me."

Since sharing his situation, the post has received 4,000 upvotes as people responded with their reasons as to why the husband is the a**hole.

One person said: "YTA. You should have figured out. And you would have known how many days you could take off and kept one for that day."

"YTA. You couldn’t find a babysitter or something? It doesn’t matter who she knows well or not, what matters is that this meant a lot to your wife," another person wrote.

"You can’t decide what means something to your wife or not. If you respect her and love her, you’ll apologize for making her miss something that she can never make up for."

Someone else added: "YTA why did you not communicate with your wife exactly how many days off you could take way before the day of the funeral?"

"YTA, because you simply figured it's better to ask forgiveness than permission," a fourth person commented.

In the end, the man provided an update where he admitted to being in the wrong.

"I come to the conclusion, that I was TA [the a**hole] which definitely wasn't my intention but as many of you has stated in the comments, I chose me and my work over her and something she can't do over."

He added: "I realized that if something similar happens again, I rather be an asshole to my job than my wife, and I would sincerely hope that she would do the same for me."

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