Emotional intimacy is the top topic queer daters desire advice on, says Hinge report

When it comes to relationship advice, emotional intimacy is the top area queer daters seek advice about, according to Hinge's second annual LGBT+ D.A.T.E. (Data, Advice, Trends, and Expertise) Report.

The study looked at 14,000 Hinge daters and also included expert insights, firsthand perspectives from LGBTQ+ daters, and practical tips from Hinge's Love & Connection Expert and licensed therapist, Moe Ari Brown.

On the topic of emotional intimacy, 50 per cent of LGBT+ daters want to learn how to build trust better, while 58 per cent of LGBT+ Hinge daters want to learn to bring up their wants and needs in relationships.

The report is an essential guide for queer daters seeking to build healthy relationships and outlines how LGBT+ daters can achieve greater emotional intimacy and build trust in relationships through an unexpected approach.

Hinge

This can be done by embracing what Hinge has identified as a "slowmance,” meaning to slow the pace down to enjoy the ride rather than rushing things, putting clear boundaries in place and setting intentions.

Furthermore, the report guides daters on how to build a slowmance across three key stages of dating, which include:

#1 Embracing a Soft Start

A conversation that creates a comfortable pace from the get-go, instead of immediately going deep. Using humor when beginning a conversation is the key to a soft start, providing an easy way to break the ice without sharing too much too soon. Given some of the challenges that the queer community faces, LGBT+ daters prefer to keep initial conversations light, positive and engaging— from the opening line to securing the first date.

• Only 10 per cent of LGBT+ Hinge daters prefer someone to start a conversation with them by asking them about their dating intentions. Most daters prefer to know more about one another first.
• 64 per cent of LGBT+ Hinge daters say that seeing humor on someone’s profile makes them more interested in chatting.
• Only 20 per cent of LGBT+ daters prefer someone to start a conversation by skipping the small talk and asking a deep question.

#2 Planning the Low-Pressure Date (LPD)

A relaxed environment with a focus on getting to know one another. LGBT+ daters prefer relaxed environments because they allow daters to get to know each other and create space to have more meaningful conversations, like discussing their values, at their pace.

• The #1 Low-Pressure Date for LGBT+ daters on Hinge is a coffee shop (31 per cent), followed by a bar (21 per cent) and restaurant (20 per cent).
• The top first-date topics Hinge’s LGBT+ daters want to discuss are: personal growth (58 per cent), identity (51 per cent), family dynamics (32 per cent) and societal issues (32 per cent).
• 91 per cent of LGBT+ Hinge daters are open to continuing the first date and going to another place if it’s going well.

#3 Rolling Out the Soft Launch

Subtly releasing photos or videos on social media of their romantic partner without sharing their full face/identity. Think low-key hints and a gradual reveal. Because some LGBT+ daters are not out to friends and family, it’s crucial to plan a launch that respects privacy. Queer daters have to establish clear communication and mutual boundaries to smoothly introduce the relationship in a way that feels comfortable for everyone involved.

• The top reasons LGBT+ Hinge daters prefer a soft launch over a hard launch are to: enjoy the early stages of the relationship before involving others (58 per cent), protect their own privacy (44 per cent), and understand each other’s boundaries (40 per cent).
• 77 percent of LGBT+ Hinge daters believe that people should have a conversation with a romantic partner first before posting about them on social media; preferring to soft launch.
• 53 per cent of trans daters and 42 per cent of queer daters who said they prefer to never launch their relationships make this choice due to privacy and safety concerns.

“Dating can be especially complex for queer daters for many reasons. Opting for a slowmance helps LGBT+ daters cultivate emotional intimacy and build the strong foundation necessary to navigate those complexities,” says Moe Ari Brown. “The 2024 LGBT+ Hinge D.A.T.E. report sees, hears and supports queer daters worldwide with a resource that offers advice and tools to build the connection, vulnerability and trust they desire in relationships.”

“Our work at Hinge is to support all daters in finding meaningful relationships. We’ve seen that some individuals, especially LGBT+ daters, lack the dating and relationship resources they want,” added Jackie Jantos, Hinge’s Chief Marketing Officer. “With our D.A.T.E. report series, we're not only uncovering new insights but making the research and guidance available directly to queer daters.”

Dating isn’t a one-size-fits-all experience, as Hinge says inclusivity is fundamental. The company added that it is committed to helping everyone find connection—and will continue to find ways to create safe and supporting spaces for underrepresented communities through long-term initiatives such as Hinge’s D.A.T.E reports and NFAQ series.

To read the full findings, download the report here.

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