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Tinder
With the sheer amount of time we all spend on social media these days, it’s easy to feel swamped by all of the dating-related content that’s out there, and find it harder to let go of memories and past connections with an ex.
In fact, new research from Tinder reveals 43 per cent of British singles feel mentally weighed down by the digital debris of old matches, endless dating advice and generally letting go of the “museum of exes”.
Thanks to social media, we’ve all become digital hoarders and it’s making us all feel overwhelmed.
Breaking down the demographics, women are most impacted by the collected clutter in their phones (44 percent), while more than half of men aged 18-35 (57 per cent) following multiple social media accounts for tips on finding love.
The solution? An almighty deep clean and who better to hear this advice from than TikTok cleaning expert (aka “the internet’s mum”) Ann Russell?
Russell spoke to Indy100 and shared her straight-talking advice to singletons seeking to declutter their digital dating habits and give their dating life the ultimate spring clean.
“Clutter is clutter. It doesn't matter whether it's digital or whether it's physical, it's still clutter. It still occupies brain space,” Russell said, who built a platform of 2.8 million TikTok followers with her cleaning and life advice for Gen Z’ers.
Just like a physical clear out, there’s a set of steps Russell “always recommends” which can also apply to our digital clutter (and it makes a pretty satisfying acrostic).
C - Clear out old flings – if they ghosted, let them stay ghosts
L - Let go of your ex. Unfollow across social and delete their number
E - Erase messages starting with “hey u up”. We’ve all been there
A - Archive the old Tinder bios. Yes, you’re adventurous, but give us something new
N - New season, new you. Match with intent – it’s time for quality over quantity
“First, you've got to clean. You've got to get rid of the crap, clear out the rubbish, clear out everything that you don't want so that you've got space, mental and physical, to see what you actually do want,” the TikTok creator explained.
Letting go is an important step, but proves to be tricky. Gen Z singletons are less likely to let go once a relationship end, as their biggest habits include checking their ex’s social media profiles (44 per cent), reading through old text messages (39 per cent), and revisiting photos of their ex-partner (36 per cent).
That’s why Russell recommends making use of their block button to sever the link once and for all.
“Then you can go through, you can block everything and make sure that what you're presenting to the world is what you mean to present. You know, it's the equivalent of don't answer the door in an egg-stained dressing gown. It might have been clean when you put it on, but it isn't now."
She added: “It's the same with your profiles. You know, if you want to attract the dates and the people that you want, you've got to show them. You've got to show them who you are. Who you are reflects who you want.”
Although tech-savvy Gen Z do struggle with digital detachment, millennial counterparts find it easier with 32 per cent deleting their ex’s chat after a breakup, embracing the ‘out of sight, out of mind’ approach. So while it can impact younger people the most, digital dating clutter can impact different generations – and Russell agrees.
Tinder
“I think it applies to all ages, but it does especially apply to young people,” she said. “The dating world has changed since I was young, and now people do it online, and it's not that dissimilar, but there's so much more of it because it is online, and the only way that you're going to keep yourself focused and keep your own mental space is by making sure you keep it all clean and tidy.”
The cleanfulencer acknowledged the modern struggles the younger generation has to navigate with online dating, with the endless amount of choice and advice that’s out there.
“I never dated a football stadium, but you can sit in bed at night with Tinder, and you can see all these wonderful people, and you've got to remember that you also want to be a wonderful person to the right person.”
As for your online presence and profile, Russell added: “You make sure your profile is absolutely shining with exactly what you want to say to other people, and then just concentrate on quality. And if somebody doesn't match what you want, let them go.”
Russell has more advice to share in her upcoming book How to be an Adult (her third after her previous books How to Clean Everything and How to Save Money) set to be released on August 28 this year where she “covers everything that a young (or not so young) person needs to know - the stuff that should be taught in schools but isn't,” and this includes how to deal with breakups.
“You know what? It's almost exactly the same as that,” she said. “The first thing you do when you have a breakup is block them, delete them, get rid of them on everything, because there is nothing more embarrassing than, you know, half a bottle of Prosecco down, starting to wail into your phone.
“Keep yourself moving forward, you'll be absolutely fine, and you will get over it. It's that initial [realisation] 'this is over. It is done. It is now passed. I have no use for it.' Learn to let go.”
Elsewhere, a study reveals the biggest Tinder turn-offs that have singletons swiping left, and TikTokers share drastic before-and-after photos in a viral trend
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