The 8 most difficult lessons to learn in your twenties

Life is hard.

Comedian and podcaster Bill Beteet decided to drop a few golden nuggets of knowledge.

For those nearing 30 - and those who are simply stumbling aimlessly - here are eight things he learned in his twenties:

1. She/He Doesn’t Love You and That’s ok

There was a girl named Tianna, and I thought I was destined to be with her. I quit smoking for her, wrote screenplays for her, put on a ton of muscle for her - I professed my love to her a couple times and was rejected - and that’ ok. I didn’t fail because love isn’t something to achieve.

2. Fulfilment is a Lie

You will never achieve a success so great that you will no longer feel the need to do something to feel whole. You must treat fulfilment like nutrition, and do something enriching every day in order to feel alive.

3. You Need to Experience Shame to Achieve Your Dreams

Bomb at an open mic, send your novel to someone who’s going to paint it red, make a thousand cold calls. Don’t live in the minds of other, focus on your main your goals, and remember no one looks sexy on their climb to the top.

4. Fall In love with Pain

While I was in Copenhagen I told an Italian man the secret to being happy in life was to fall in love with pain. Then you will not only be able withstand the arduous journey to becoming the strongest version of yourself, but you’ll enjoy yourself along the way.

5. You Must Settle

In order to have what you want, you have to settle for a lot of things you might not want at that moment. I eat settle on foods because having a great body is more important, I settle with not going out on as many as I use to because standup is more important. Plan out what you’re willing to settle on in advance, that way you don’t feel conflicted about having to make sacrifices.

6. Excitement is Shallow

I’ve travelled all over the world and met people from all walks of life along the way. The people, who were just traveling for excitement for several months, all sounded the same. Chasing excitement as an end is redundant. Soon there are no more novel truths to discover.

7. Loneliness is About You

I’m not lonely when I’m at the gym even though I’m training by myself, but I am lonely when I go to parties and I’m being a wall flower. Why? Because loneliness is about your engagement in the that moment. So if you’re feeling lonely, close your computer and go for a run, it will get you back into the moment.

8. Sacrifice Makes things Mean Something

I have performed stand up the 325 consecutive days, I’ve missed family gatherings, nights out with friends, dates, a trip to Brazil Argentine and Peru, but missing out on all of these things made my successes in standup mean so much more to me. So don’t look at standup as a sunk cost, but an opportunity to make the thing you are working on worth more to you.

This article originally appeared on Quora

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