The secret to a happy sex life

When it comes to sex: If you don't expect to be satisfied immediately, you're more likely to be satisfied in the long term.

According to a recent study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, which looked at both heterosexual and same-sex relationships, expectations about sex lives influence the quality of your relationship in the bedroom.

In the survey of 1,900 people, researchers found that there are more or less two groups of people: those who believe in sexual growth and mutual learning, and those who believe in a sort of 'sexual destiny'.

It is worth noting, however, that there weren't two separate camps - this was based on a sliding scale.

Those who had lower expectations of instant and everlasting fireworks were found to have longer, more successful relationships, as Jessica Maxwell, a PhD candidate and lead author of the study explained:

People who believe in sexual destiny are using their sex life as a barometer for how well their relationship is doing, and they believe problems in the bedroom equal problems in the relationship as a whole.

Whereas people who believe in sexual growth not only believe they can work on their sexual problems, but they are not letting it affect their relationship satisfaction.

In short, if you believe in working together and communicating, rather than expecting instant success, you're more likely to have a sucsexful relationship.

In addition, having high expectations and thinking that good sex correlates with a concept of a "soul mate" isn't the healthiest of attitudes, according to Maxwell:

Sexual-destiny beliefs have a lot of similarities with other dysfunctional beliefs about sex, and I think it's important to recognize and address that.

HT BigThink

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