All the words and phrases the Daily Mail used to describe women at the Oscars 2016

Sunday marked the biggest red carpet event in the entertainment calendar. It was, of course the Oscars.

Journalists stayed up all night to cover every moment of the awards ceremony and the parading of clothes on bodies that comes before it.

Writing as a former fashion journalist, I have myself been privy to delighting in the incredibly extravagant dresses worn by the most recognisable faces in Hollywood.

However, the media coverage surrounding women at the Academy Awards is always utterly depressing, and I would quite like that to change thankyouverymuch.

In a bid to highlight just how many God awful words are thrown at women for daring to go out in public wearing clothes, I've taken two articles from the Daily Mail's Oscars 2016 coverage and analysed the words used to describe women on the red carpet.

First up, the DM's worst dressed list

At just under 4,000 words long this piece awards Heidi Klum the Oscar for 'worst fashion fail', likens Kate Winslet's look to a bin bag and deemed Golden Globe and Grammy Award winner Diane Warren's choice of outfit 'inappropriate':

Disaster

Uncomfortable

Terribly awkward cleavage

Gaudy

Over the top

Garbage bag

Trashy

Irksome

Part trash bag, part oil-slick

Disappointed

Creepy

Otherwise flattering

Incredibly constricted

Curtain-like

Odd

Dominatrix

A step too far

A bit much

Tacky

Too tight

Fell flat

Badly tailored

Ill-fitting

Off-putting

Clashing

Messy

Too large

Unnecessary

Incredibly unflattering

Awkwardly-lengthed

Totally inappropriate

Poor

Headache-inducing

Strange

Looked like a blood clot

Restaurant leftovers

Awkwardly cropped

Too-baggy

Struggle

Winging it

NB: This piece included the sentence: "Model Lily Cole looked like she was the restaurant leftovers in a tinfoil-like crumpled gown that hid her slender frame."

Next, best dressed:

Unfortunately, the DM didn't just dedicate another 4,000 words to the best dressed women. Oh no.

Instead, there were dozens (I couldn't actually bring myself to count) of stories on individual trends and dresses.

With a vast sea of content to pick from I opted for this, 'Jennifer Lawrence, Brie Larson, Cate Blanchett and Charlize Theron take the plunge in glamorous gowns on the Academy Awards red carpet'

And remember, these are supposed to be the positive terms...

Plunge

Glamorous

Low cut

Daring

Lovely

Saucy

Sex appeal

Slinky

Didn't disappoint

Unsurprisingly

Sexy

Clung

Slim

Showed off

Racy

Effortlessly

Sparkle

Pretty

Centre of attention

Dazzling

Striking

Quirky

Sensational

Went all out

Dramatic

Nipped in

Tiny waist

Generous

Revealed

Bold

Mesmerised

Wowed

Beauty

Divine

Showcased her baby bump

Showed off her blooming bump

Angelic

Ample cleavage

Left little to the imagination

Slender figure

Beautiful

Risk

Unusual

Delicate

Leggy

Elegant

Showed some skin

Picture perfect

Played it safe

Oozing elegance

At this point I give up.

Further proof that none of this actually matters... Kate Winslet appears on the worst dressed list and is praised for being 'stunning':

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